One More............

Well, I should've known it was too good to be true!  My relationship with my scale hit a rough patch this morning as we had our first fight.  It tried to tell me I have only lost 1 pound since last Wednesday, and I couldn't help but argue the absurdity of that statement!  Only 1 pound in 5 days?!?!?!?!?  But alas, this battle was won by my scale, because it doesn't lie, unless it is out of batteries, and then it wouldn't light up at all, so it won this round.  I was frustrated at first, but I'm okay now - at least I lost one more for a total of 35 pounds in the last two months.  That in itself is amazing, so I'm staying positive!  I will forgive my scale this time, and hopefully we can repair our relationship and get it back on track!

I had my first experience with some negativity about my surgery this past weekend.  I told a friend I hadn't seen in months that I had gastric bypass, and her answer was, "WHY?", in a not so nice tone.  I explained because I have 100 pounds to lose, and this was the decision I made.  I told her I've lost 34 since surgery 2 months ago, and she replied, "Well, it has taken me all summer just to lose 21".  Implying that I have it easy.  I knew not everyone would understand my decision to have gastric bypass, and some people will think it is the easy way out, but again, I just have to stay positive.  It has certainly not been an easy process, and I still have a long way to go, and a lot more physical and psychological changing to do, so I don't think I took the easy way out.  I don't think my family would think this has been all that easy either. 

That is why I was glad it was my night for my bariatric surgery support group at the Mayo Clinic.  This time there were 3 of us there who had all had gastric bypass.  One woman, who I was sure didn't belong in the group because she was so small, has actually lost a total of 98 pounds in the last 11 months.  The other woman had surgery 6 months ago, and has lost about 65 pounds.  I was encouraged to hear both of them talk about their experiences.  It is nice to be in a room with other people who know exactly what you are going through, and can help you realize it will be okay, and you will make it.  The psychologist that runs the meetings did tell me tonight that I was the first person she has ever known who still had the cravings and desires for all the bad food after surgery.  Apparently, most people don't even have the desire for those bad foods anymore, but leave it to me to be the exception to the rule!  She did say that it means that I will have to work harder in the future to stay on track when the day comes that I can start eating those foods again.  I can't even think about that right now.  I still just need to make it day to day. 

I still have a daily struggle with what to eat.  I know I'm not getting enough protein in my diet, and I'm basically surviving on dairy foods right now.  (I could eat my weight in Chobani yogurt!)  Eggs, cheese, milk and yogurt are my basic staples.  I think the reason behind this is I don't have to chew these things to death, and they retain their flavor even when I swallow them.  Other stuff I have to chew up so much that it starts to taste gross, but that isn't healthy for me.  I've got to figure out how to get more protein especially at lunch. 


I made the mistake of drinking right after I ate a bite of roasted chicken the other night, and had the most unbelievable pain.  Geoff wanted me to go to the bathroom and throw it up, but I knew that if I did that then I wouldn't eat chicken anymore, so I struggled through the pain.  I didn't really eat anymore until the next afternoon.  It was a bad evening and I ended up crying and asking Geoff why in the world I did this to myself, and he walked away and got his iPad looked up my blog and held it up to show me my before pics, and told me that was why I did this to myself.  It helped.  He has been an unbelievable support for me during this, when I can't even imagine having to live with me right now!  He deserves a medal!  I don't know how anyone could get through this process without a supportive spouse, or family, or friends!  Thank you all!!!!!